Bittersweet: I left the ending ambiguous, because that is the way life is.

~Bernardo Bertolucci

One week left. That's all the time that I have at Oroville High School as a student-teacher, and while a part of me is excited to move on and find a job, another part of me knows that I will miss my students. 

This last weekend, breaking one of my few rules in life, I decided to go to Barnes & Noble sit in the Starbucks section and grade papers. As I was grading papers, one of the girls that had attended the program with me at Chico State told me that her life didn't feel as meaningful now that she wasn't teaching. I imagine that my life will probably feel similar.

There is just something about teaching, giving my all to it, teaching the students, talking with the students, laughing with my students, disciplining my students, it is an emotional career. It is one that breathes life into me. It is the place that I have felt where I most belong for the past few months. And now, I only have a little bit left. I face the future knowing that this is something that I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to be there for my students, to make an impact upon them, and to encourage them to go out and make an impact upon the rest of the world. They are our future and within them lay dreams that as adults, we have not dreamed. Within them lay answers to questions that they have only thought about asking. And while I write this blog, I realize that these simple words will not capture their sheer awesomeness.

While I face my conclusion to my student-teaching; yesterday, I was surprised by a letter that I received. It was from Big Brothers/ Big Sisters of Butte County telling me that they are ceasing all operations. The letter says: "From this point forward, any future contact between children and volunteers will be at the risk of the parties involved, with parents assuming full responsibility for the safety and health of their child." What this essentially means is that I am now operating without a safety net. My match's mother has asked me to tutor him in school, and therefore my match has continued. I am not sure what this new territory holds and for how long this will last. However, it is my hope that I will be able to help him with his homework, inspire him to be a better student, and help him to be successful in school.

So now, I look upon the ending of two different chapters of my life. These endings have came close together, and therefore seem somehow related in my mind. There is something bittersweet to it.